The $1,000,000 question...why?

Why...after over two years can this be happening? How can love be ripped away like that and how can I be expected to survive? Why did I have to fall in love with them? Why, Why, Why? I want the $1,000,000 answer...why would He choose to take them away?

I got the call at work today...Sara said that the kids were going to live with their grandpa and they would be leaving tomorrow...yes, as in today is Thursday, December 7, 2006 and tomorrow is Friday, December 8, 2006 and the kids will no longer be part of our family. I have so many questions, I have so many things still to say.

I am at my mom and dad's right now...waiting until bedtime to say good-bye, but all they know is that they are spending the night at grandpa's tomorrow...but even that is not going over too well with any of them. There is not enough time tonight to say all the good-byes I NEED to say. Keith can;t be here to say good-bye or to hold me and tell me it's okay, Kalla isn't here to make the good-bye complete, I see Zach crumbling before my eyes...and I don't have the answers to make it ok. How can I comfort them, if I can't even tell my things to make it okay.

So now I say good-bye, even though the ones who need to hear it and understand think it is only until the next time I come to see them.

K'Von--you may have been wild, but you always had a soft side to cuddle with and I love you and will miss you more than I can ever say.

K'Liyah--you are such a girly girl, but was always a riot to be with...once you trusted someone you gave your love so greatly...I will truly miss you and the way you always asked me where Keith was.
KeAwn--you were spoiled, but you were the ham of the bunch...you would do most anything for a laugh!