For so long I have been wandering and it has just been recently that I have felt like I am going somewhere, hearing something, and feeling protected. I have never been able to get the iddea of having somewhere to go when you are lost and feel alone. I ahve heard that people have these places--whether real and/or physical, but for me that has never been the case. I have always just felt alone with nowhere to go. Lately though, I have realized my place, a book or rather a devotional. And while I ussually cringe at a devotional this one has me inspired. As a woman it gives me strength, as a wife hope, and as a future mother (though no time soon) love and compassion. I still feel like I'm in a dessert with no where to go and no mirages to see, yet I now see glimpses. I have hope and feel that maybe there is a purpose for all this.
One of the hardest points of this wandering period has been doing it alone. I struggle with sharing my feelings and what I am going through. I know that it would help to share, but I don't know how to explain. Even here I know key components are missing--I just can't get them out. My prayer lately has been how do I share this right now and when it is over? How do I use this pain and growth to speak into others lives? How do I use my weaknesses to make another strong? I don't have the answers but I know who does, and He is giving me glimpses--maybe not to overwhelm me or maybe He knows I'm just not ready--but I do know that I am going to try to cherish this wandering time and hopefully experience all that I can from this lesson.